In all my infinite wisdom (haha) it has been brought to my attention on numerous occasions that the vast majority of people are unaware of what a tic disorder is. I myself was very uneducated when it came to the subject of what it meant until relatively recently, when I began doing some research to understand what I was going through. I plan on using this page to give a little insight into what having a tic disorder means, as well as some of my personal tics. This is a very sensitive subject for me and I get very self-conscious about my tics, so I would really appreciate if you tried to be understanding and courteous (even more than usual) when it comes to this subject. I will try to answer any questions that you have about them, but please be respectful when you ask. Thank you.
definition of a tic: noun. A habitual spasmodic muscular movement or contraction, usually of the face or extremities.
motor tic: an involuntary movement
phonic tic: an involuntary sound
cognitive tic: an obsessive thought process
According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychology, most tics are mild and hardly noticeable, but in some cases they are frequent and severe and can affect many aspects of a person's life. Most of my tics are barely noticeable and only those closest to me know that I do them out of necessity instead of just happening. However, I do have some tics that are quite obvious and often startle people who don't know me very well (or at all). I'm not going to lay out the entire list of all the tics I have, because it's quite a long list, but I will go into detail about a few of the more common or more noticeable ones.
Tic disorders are often coupled with other neurological problems, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), shortened attention span (ADD), chronic migraines, and severe impulsivity. I know for me personally, my tic disorder also adds to my depression because of the extent of their interference with my life and because so few people are aware of what it truly means to have a tic disorder, so people are constantly pointing out when I tic or making assumptions based on the noises and movements that I make. I know that some people would be less likely to point these things out if there was an easier way to get education on the issue, but since it's not a very common condition, not many people take the time to learn about it.
In all the reading that I've done about tic disorders, I hear that most of them are transient tics that go away on their own. This sort of thing is what many people refer to as "nervous habits", and for a long time I thought that this is what I had; simply little nervous habits that were going to go away soon. However, after about twelve years of dealing with them, I've learned that they're not going to just disappear, and it's a strong desire of mine to get treatment to minimize the bigger ones and to manage the anxiety that I get from the most frequent ones.
I'm still on my quest to find things that make my tics better; I know that for awhile I was using drugs recreationally because when I was under the influence, the frequency and severity of my tics was a lot more manageable. However, I don't want to rely on illicit substances to help treat a problem that I should be able to handle in other ways. I think that caffeine may help to some extent, but it doesn't get rid of them completely.
Things that I've found that make my tics worse include stress, lack of sleep, and if I try to hold them back. (I used to fight them while I was at work to avoid people making fun of me for them, but then by the time I got alone they had built up so bad that it seemed like I was having a seizure from my twitches, and my phonic tics were frequent enough that it sounded like I had hiccups.)
I would like to reiterate that I am not going to post my entire list of tics here, only the ones that are the most common or the most noticeable for me. If you happen to be a personal friend and notice any of these things when we're hanging out, please try not to point them out. I try to keep them under control for the most part but I don't like holding them back because of the fact that it makes them worse.
Teeth clenching: This particular tic didn't become apparent to me until I started growing my wisdom teeth, and I noticed that my mouth was almost always clenched tightly unless I focus on not doing it. It can be painful when I do it for long periods of time, so I try not to do it as much as I can handle.
Licking my lips: Growing up, and still to this day, my lips are almost constantly chapped because I'm always licking them. I don't even notice that I do it most of the time, but I've noticed that I do it while I'm smoking sometimes too (which isn't so fun!). I try to always keep Carmex or Chapstick (etc.) with me so that my lips don't get as damaged from it.
Rubbing my face: Most often this will appear like I'm wiping my nose or scratching at my cheeks. I don't know why I do it, and I try not to think about it because if I think about it too much I notice myself doing it more and more.
Head shaking: I shake my head back and forth, a lot. I actually had to stop wearing my hair up for awhile because my head shaking got so bad that any time my hair was up in a ponytail, I'd hit myself in the face with it. It's kind of amusing, but back when I had split ends it was pretty painful *sad*
"Chills": You know when you get a cold chill, and everyone says that someone just walked across your grave? Well, I get those multiple times a day. It was actually one of the first tics that I noticed, because it is one of my most obvious ones... My brother used to make fun of me because of the way I twitch when I do it, it looks like I'm going to have a seizure, and he used to make jokes that I needed to take some dancing lessons *lol*
Touching things: When I'm walking through a store or something, I can't fight the urge to just touch the things that I'm walking by. You know how when you're walking with a little kid they'll do that a lot? I've always done it, unless I focus really hard on making sure I don't do it, I touch almost everything that I walk past.
My phonic tics are the tics that are most obvious to other people. Sometimes they're fairly quiet, and just sound like hiccups or small coughs, but sometimes they're really loud and they have a tendency to scare people. I feel bad whenever I have one when I'm on the phone, because the mouth piece of the phone tends to amplify them right into the other person's ear. I usually habitually apologize for them just because I'm used to them hurting people's ears or scaring them; I'm trying to get out of that habit because everyone always gets after me for apologizing too much.
Throat clearing/coughing: This is probably the most common phonic tic from anyone with a tic disorder. I don't do it as often as some people do, but it's really obvious when it happens that it's not because I have anything stuck in my throat. I've been told by people who know me very well that I have a very distinct cough when it comes to my tics as opposed to my "normal" cough when I'm sick or smoking.
Squeaking: I really don't know how to explain this one... I squeak. I have a lot of different squeaks, too. Some are tiny and just sound like hiccups (although my actual hiccups are pretty much silent); some are more drawn out and apparently "mousey"; and some are quite loud and can be heard from quite aways away. The tiny, hiccup-like ones don't bother me as much as the "mousey" ones (people inevitably make a comment about them being cute, or me sounding like a mouse, which draws more attention to the fact that it's not normal) and the loud ones (those ones are absolutely impossible to ignore and get me the most comments from strangers and even close family members). Sometimes my squeaks sound more like a "squawk", but that doesn't happen very often and mainly happens when I try to talk when I feel a tic coming on.
Repeating things: This isn't as bad as it used to be when I was younger, but, I used to repeat things that other people said, all the time. Almost any time someone would talk to me, in fact. People thought I was doing it just to try and be annoying, but honestly I couldn't help it. I'm so glad that this one has, for the most part, gone away. I do occasionally repeat things that I said, but usually I can keep this under control and I will only do it if I'm by myself.
Cognitive tics can be explained as compulsions and repetitive thought processes that do not result in a motor or phonic tic. They're a lot easier to hide due to the fact that other people can't really see what I'm thinking, but they're just as frustrating for me personally. I start to go into panic attacks if I try to ignore these compulsions.
Counting things: Particularly when I'm stressed, I'll count random objects around me. This is more noticeable than my other cognitive tics simply because I can't count in my head, so people will be able to see me mouthing the numbers as I count.
Obsession over numbers: I'm not as bad about this as I used to be, but I used to have everything in sets of "good" numbers (such as 1, 3, 5, 10, 12, 13, 15...) and I would start to get anxiety attacks if I didn't have them that certain way. Now the only things that I really worry about with that are my lists, and I can "trick" myself into overlooking them if I absolutely have to.
Obsession over spelling: I've always been ridiculously obsessive about spelling, to the point where we would go out to eat when I was little and I would obsess if there was a word spelled wrong on the menu or the signage, and I would have to point it out to a member of the staff. When I started using chat rooms, it was even worse... I'd habitually correct other people's spelling if they had mistyped something, and I refused to talk to anyone who had poor spelling. I'm getting better about not correcting other people, but I still point out errors on printed texts without thinking about it, and I won't talk to someone who can't spell unless it's a really good friend and I can try and ignore it. My best friend and I send messages to each other in chatspeak sometimes and it honestly gives me a migraine if I try to do it more than three or four messages. It's literally painful.
Obsession over money: I have this weird thing that I habitually do with my money. I know a lot of people will put their bills in order from largest denomination to smallest and make sure that they're all facing the same way, but I take it a step further and I get really nervous if I don't order the serial numbers a certain way. I try to get around this by using a debit card instead of cash whenever possible, but when I do have to have cash on me for some reason I try and let someone else hold it for me so that I don't "organize" it.
There's really not a lot that you can do to help with tic disorders; not a lot of treatments exist that actually work, and the ones that do manage to supress the tics usually cause a slew of other problems that are sometimes worse than the tics themselves. The easiest way for you to help is to do a Google search for "Tic disorders" so that you're more educated and less likely to set off the anxiety associated with them, and try to be a good friend and understand what it is that I'm going through.
Of course, I don't expect random strangers visiting my site to take the time to search the internet for this, but if you are curious there are plenty of resources on the internet that help to define what a tic disorder consists of as well as how to be supportive for someone who is suffering from it. That's all I can really tell you; I'm out of information to provide today! Hopefully you've learned something new and can use it to make yourself a better person in the long run.